Kevin Scampoli and the Ryan Van Vleet get together for episode 148 of The Whole Fucking Show.
The Whole Fucking Show – Episode 148 – Brie Mode.(mp3)
Rundown written by TWFS Locker Room Leader #14, Guerilla Tech.
Intensity Rating – 3/5
#50 Ty Brayton
#– Corey Titler
#14 Guerilla Tech
#99 Edward McDougal
#– Nico Sauve
#25 Mario Sauceda
#10 Awkward Stepho
Bray Wyatt was nice enough to make a promo about Danny getting to close to the Sun just like Icarus. After that, we had a rundown on how Danny and Debo put their melting wax feet in their wax mouths over the months, complaining about the heat as Vleeties had, but deciding to follow the buzzards where good ol’ Vleeties stepped up to the challenge. Locker Room Pride.
Don’t follow the Chickenfishes.
And so the discussion began. Vleeties was still a stable distance from the sun, getting a nice tan. He also confirmed he wasn’t the Assmaster… allegedly…
#50 Ty Brayton was the first topic of the discussion. Ty exemplified some Braytonism (making up terms to bring against you later on). Ty didn’t like the burial of Danny last week and dealt with the accusation of being the artist for My Black Friend. Ty asked a question: “Is that Really what it is? If I associated with them, I’m the enemy!?” Which Kevin used as an opportunity to alert the Locker Room that they are on Lock Down against MBF. Do not help, do not work for them, do not contribute to them. This lockdown didn’t spread to the Miami Dolphins… unless it’s working for someone named Danny. Kevin gave Ty a ‘cutthroat’ sign. “It’s not about listening, it’s about assisting,”. Destroy the competition. Ty almost broke into song talking about how this split made him fe-e-e-e-e-e-e-el… though that could have been lag.
NUMBER PURGE – the Locker room was holding in their shits, on their toes. “Did I say I was gonna do it now? I LIED.”
Vleeties was at the gym, “looking at the skies” as he pumps. He was occupying the gym amongst the smoke and mirrors. Vleeties explained he’s not Vleeties at the gym, but hulks up into something else. Was it a phony Randy Orton? Was it ‘The Scoops’? “Tell me VLEETIES!!!”
Big Show cried again this week. Kevin once again just happened to be in the crowd. Kevin wants to always be there when Danny cries. (LJS at closing time?) You all remember hearing Kevin on Raw. Once gain, called Big Show a fuck and revealed his biggest fear: “A Drive-Thru closing!!!”. Kevin and Vleeties discussed the horror of getting to a drive-thru after it’s closed. Kevin brought up how people exercise what little or limited power they have, drive-thru guys forcing you to get to the car, Kevin putting a lockdown on being tooclosetothesun. WWE was suitably upset by Kevin’s outburst as usual, but they gave him a spotlight. Then a group of men who were dressed in black uniforms labelled “SECURITY” made their way towards Kevin while he was trying to start a ‘Big Show’s doodies’ chant. Even though Steph McMahon gave him a thumbs up and he told them he was ‘a DIFFERENT PERSON HERE’ with a ‘Show on Saturday’… they still put their hands on him. Kevin then started a Y2J chant. He was acting a little Y2Jish in Vleeties eyes.
Though it was actually Kevbcul in Brie mode, he brought Vleeties up to speed on the WWE show with, arguably, the best story lines – Total Divas.
Hambino picked up the phone to a round of applause…under the new name, ‘Hamilton’, his last name or something. (Possible WCW tour?)
Kevbcul did the impossible. Kevbcul accepted doing the job for Hambino. The bell rang, literally. The crowd was popping. Scampoli and Hambino were talking as the ref held up the Joey Long title. Kevin made amends, starting with an apology. Hambino accepted with the finger poke of death. Kevin laid down. Hambino pinned him, but Scampoli tapped out before Vleeties gave the 3 count. Not before kicking out to a false finish of course. As to why he wouldnâ€™t give the one clean pin, Kevin explained; “I wouldn’t take a bullet for you obviously,”. Hamilton left the arena with Kevin sitting alone in the ring. Kevin waved to the ref and the crowd and walked up the ramp. They both saved face. Strangely enough, Scampoli and Hambino have the same wrestler theme.
Kevin opened the debate on whether Shawn Michaels did more selling as the ref to HHH vs Taker or in his match against Hulk.
“45 minutes in, are you too close to the sun yet?” Vleeties said no, but with the Purge coming next, /someone/ was about to be. Kevin held up a number (like it’s some kind of prize).
NUMBER PURGE – Hambino has number #20 once again. LOCKERROOM PRIDE.
NUMBER PURGE – 2 additional numbers were now being stripped. reports from the TWFS creative express this was not done to make room for Kofi Kingston and Big Show after HHH called them locker room leaders on Smackdown (by accident of course). To little surprise, the numbers were #99 and #98, which belonged to Big De-… Erin and Tamika who for obvious reasons are disenfranchised with TWFS.
Kevin narrowly avoided giving #99 (presumably he had the shield jump him just before he tried to get in the ring) to Corey Titler. #14 Guerilla Tech called, sounding so British. He congratulated Vleeties and pushed the question of the purges coming in line with HHH naming new locker room leaders. “All I will say… is that it’s good for business.” Perry Jenkins became number #98, incidentally sounding like an NFL wide-receiver. After a staunch of close calls, finally Edward McDougall won the locker room number Royal Rumble and became #99. Why? “Because I’m better than Debo”. Edward gave an episode of Edwards Creek, bravely talking about his recent breakup. … gave the reaction of being in awe of Vleeties when he called in. Vleeties accidentally glanced directly into his soul. #25 Mario established his own number ready to be a fighting champion. Kevin told him to sit down at the announcer’s booth as he is not the card. Nico Sauve Regoli phoned in to issue a challenge to the board of Directors for #56 held by …
Night of Champions picks rolled up:
Divas Title Fatal Four Way – AJ (Champion) vs Natalya vs Naomi vs Brie Bella.
This fued started by AJ watching Total Divas and gave a ‘pimp bomb’ promo. #10 Awkward Stepho phoned in to give his support of the promo. The hosts debated whether current storylines are using/taunting the internet wrestling talk. Kevin didn’t care for AJ’s chucks. Vleeties didn’t care for the sound AJ made. Kevin explained that is what a female voice sounds like. Vleeties said Natalya is the underdog. Kevin wondered if her shoulders were too broad. Kevin picked AJ, Vleeties picked Natalya. And apparently, there’s a Women’s National Basketball league of America.
Non-title Handicap Elimination Match – Curtis Axel(Champion) & Paul Heyman vs C M Punk
Both picked Punk, but is there possible Lesnar interruptions? Kevbcul warned of giving a pipe bomb if there’s a DQ.
World Heavyweight Championship – Alberto Del Rio (Champion) vs Rob Van Dam (/w Ricardo Rodriguez)
Kevin went RVD, Vleeties went internet guy thinking RVD’s flaky contract will make him unsuitable for the WHC. Kevin wondered if Vleeties just didn’t trust the mexican help. #68 Liana broke up the contention between Kev and Vleet but admitted to being up for a very long time tweeting after hours (according to Grandma Danny’s watch). Kevin supported it, more than he supported a face Del Rio.
WWE Championship – Randy Orton (Champion) vs Daniel Bryan
Both pick Randy Orton. “This can’t end here” aptly stated by Kevin. Kevin added a new rule, “Everytime a match changes to no DQ on the night, you get two points” so obviously, it is gonna happen. Vleeties and Kevin couldn’t agree on whether Battlegrounds is a good name or not but they could agree that googling WWE battlegrounds and getting Christina Aguilera tits is pretty sweet.
Vleeties rolled up his sleeves and made his first closing speech, reminding the world that Kevin is the sun. Moments later, he was presumably occupying a gym.
The Whole Fucking Show – Episode 148 – Brie Mode.(mp3)
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